Money and marriage

June 7, 2007 at 1:58 pm Leave a comment

We’re in Debt recently featured a post about the importance of showing your spouse the money. The King of Debt offered some great suggestions to give your spouse the know-how to handle the finances in case they’re left holding the bag. Either way, it’s good for both partners to be informed and actively involved in the family finances. Although I agree with the King of Debt, I believe there were some important things he missed in terms of money and marriage. That’s what this post is about. So, let’s get started.

First, the Kind of Debt brings up an excellent point about the potentiality that emergencies or tragedies can occur by which the spouse who has no clue about the money is left to handle it. In fact, statistics show that 75% of women outlive their husbands. So, if you’re married and your husband handles the money, it would be absolutely crucial for your financial future to get involved. Husbands, this doesn’t excuse you from your responsibilities.

Secondly, I’d like to add that the typical money ‘manager’ in the household be active about seeking input from your partner. If your partner has no interest in doing the money thing, I can’t stress enough the importance of communicating to them in a manner that they would respond to. Men and women communicate differently, so learn how to better engage your spouse in something that is obviously important to you. Remember, you gather more bees with honey than with vinegar.

Finally, I’d like to say that I was completely turned off by the tone of the King of Debt’s post. Mainly because the suggestions were made in a manner fitting a parent/child or teacher/student relationship. I doubt that this was the King of Debt’s intent, but that is how it came across to me. The simple fact that your spouse has no interest in numbers does not imply that they have inferior knowledge, they simply don’t ‘like’ to deal with the finances for one reason or another. This paragraph sums up my point:

Sitting down with your spouse to go over your finances is going to take some of your time, and you may have to give up some control over your finances if you have a constricted hold over the finances. It’s only fair to your spouse to ensure that they know all that needs to be known about your account.

Listen, it is your responsibility to treat your spouse as a partner in the finances. 1) You shouldn’t have to ‘relinquish’ control over the finances. It’s your spouse, not your child. 2) Call me old-fashioned, but marriage is a ‘we’ thing. And, money and marriage is no exception. Handling things together will eliminate stress, fights (about money), and confusion about the household money. My husband and I are actively involved in the budgeting. This alone has brought us closer because we are in agreement about our money and our financial goals.

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Entry filed under: Relating with Money.

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